The Dreamstep Kid

Have you ever noticed that pizza is like dinner pie?

My attractiveness is directly correlated to how drunk you are

                                                                                      #getmorewasted

Mipples.

                         If you accidentally touch my moobs

                                                      (or my mipples)

                                Then I must smack you

                                because it would be sexist not to

Getting and                

                    being drunk is like being stupid

                                                     and attractive

                                                     and having a really big dick

                                                                            …..why did I ever quit?

I thought about every word in this sentence.

                                                                .at least three times.

If I call “this art”

someone will hate

it’

profoundly

.

food.

                                           I believe I was poisoned

                                           I ate Chinese food once

                                     and have never pooped the same

old people.                                          

                                            Old people are like pillows

                                          they rest nicely on your couch.

                                        Until you accidentally sit on them

                                             and then they wrinkle up

                                         and never look the same again

Brave

I am brave.

I am brave like my grandmother, dark and strong, she never cried once while chopping up onions

I am brave like my grandmother, dark and strong, she handled knives like our native songs and cut up fire wood as if it belongs underneath the porch and behind the old shed she always made sure we were warm

I am brave like my grandmother, dark and strong, I cry out in soprano and it sounds an awful lot like classical, my sorrow will be the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard

I am brave like my grandmother, dark and strong, I will take the diagnosis alone, and sit up straight, and stare death in the face, and tell her I am ready

I am brave like my grandmother, dark and strong, I am brave like my grandmother.

Have faith

Have faith in me.

There are three types of people I can not stand in this world

1. People who do not listen
2. People who do not speak
3. People who do not give heart where it is needed

So have faith in me.

     Because I have cried alone more times than with someone else and though I am

     not whole yet, I want to fix this phenomenon

Have Faith in me

    Because I am still made out of star dust and clay and make miracles every once

     in a while

have Faith in me

    Because sometimes when I don’t catch myself I still believe in Disney Princesses

    and think that I can marry one too

Have faith in me

     Because I bleed the same shade that you use to color apples and I think that’s    

     almost innocent

Have Faith in ME

      because I want to believe in you too….I just don’t want to get hurt.

.

because once upon a time I believed that pixie dust was the key to flying and that fairies hide in the darkest woods. I made wishes upon stars as if it were an obligation and loved with both sleeves rolled up to my elbows.  I may have saved a princess or two, I just didn’t end up with her and I can still play a song about love, it just may sound faded.  I thought that airplanes were Power Rangers and that Power Rangers were super heroes and that Batman was an option we could all become, but only if we believed.  I thought that my neighbors were assholes because they really are assholes and I cried when my mom lost her breath because I was afraid of being alone.  I sung songs about being wild and then really went wild and then went tame so that my grandmother could hug me, I smushed fire flies with my thumb and retold scary stories and I loved everyone who dared hold my hands. 

have faith in me

Lost

                                   I feel lost.

Like,

I have been walking down this road so long I can’t remember the last time I saw something familiar

Like,

I haven’t taken any turns yet and that is the scary part.

                 We all try to pretend that we like ourselves when we don’t

                 at least for a small portion of time we try to fool everyone else in               to              believing that we are whole

.

But then a day comes and it no longer matters if we are loved or love  or compassion is even in the equation all that is required is going through the motions so we either do, or don’t, live or die, take our lives or take our lives away.

                        And at this crossroads,

I have decided that nothing good ever came of turning off before the end so I will just keep walking, lost, confused, whistling an old tune my mom taught me. 

Faking a smile until it’s worth it to be genuine again.

I just completed my first year at Yale and I don’t know how to feel

Personal Problems

Last night I deleted every kid from university on my facebook.  I don’t know why.

They say that when someone falls in love, the two grow incredibly close to the point of ripping each other apart.

They say when someone falls into hate, the two grow apart to the point of pushing each other together. 

I guess I just don’t care anymore, going through the motions I won a fight I did not want to enter in the first place. 

And it hurts to look around at what I’ve got and say, “this is it, this is everything I was promised, and I want none of it, I don’t want the name or the prestige or the thought that I might be the first person from bum fuck nowhere to graduate from here”

 because to me, I am still from bum fuck nowhere and what does it really mean, to graduate from here.